See what they are saying about The Secret Lives of Men:

Gimmicks are mercifully absent in this revealing introduction to the male psyche that introduces romantic partners and family members to the process of male socialization (the “ten commandments of growing up male” such as “there is only one way to be a man,” “fear the feminine,” “funnel... feelings into sex or aggression”) and the entrenched cultural rules that men confront and struggle to live up to. Blazina, a male-psychology expert, is a compassionate guide. While some territory has already been mined by others, his effort serves more ably than most as a practical instrument for improving relationships with men, through unpacking the “secret shoebox,” a metaphorical place where men store their most private wishes, fantasies and pains; making enlightening suggestions for helping the notorious “Peter Pan” become an adult; and providing examples of how women—often unwittingly—“emotionally castrate” the men in their lives. “Mars” and “Venus” are nowhere in sight as Blazina embraces commonalities between the sexes in this respectful and deeply healing book. (Nov.)   Publishers Weekly -

Although male psychology expert Blazina admits that there are many similarities between men and women, crucial differences between the two genders keep them from enjoying true connection and communication. Blazina explains that most men have been taught since childhood to hide their feelings, a practice that has resulted in aggression and other barriers that need to be resolved before intimacy can take place. Blazina discusses in detail how to help one's man (or partner, friend, or son) make peace with his past and share those parts of himself that remain hidden. A particularly helpful chapter explains how to offer constructive feedback to a man carefully and compassionately. Blazina concludes his book by discussing how a guardian can help boys grow up to be healthy men. Containing valuable information about the male psyche and destined to be read by female patrons, this is recommended for all libraries. Deborah Bigelow - Library Journal

Opening Doors to the Male Psyche, Christopher Blazina is not only an expert on the topic of male psychology ("The Cultural Myth of Masculinity"), but he also is a fine communicator on the written page. This book, THE SECRET LIVES OF MEN: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships', is not the usual self-help book that increasing crowds the shelves of bookstores: this is a book intended for a broader audience, that audience including everyone who needs to understand the 'male mentality' - boys, students, men caught in a line of unsuccessful relationships, women who fail to understand the 'male approach to intimacy', couples struggling with seemingly irreconcilable differences, psychologists, social workers, and the curious reader.
Where Blazina succeeds is where so many other authors stumble: Blazina writes in a conversational manner, keeping his information and data very centered in current time, and offers not only valuable insights but also drives his points of explanation home with a very useful series of Chapter Cues that keep the reader aligned with his step by step pattern of 'enlightenment'.
Captured in this book are Blazina's 'Ten Commandments of Growing Up Male', a section that lays the matrix for his further chapters on understanding the privacy of men's 'secret shoebox' of intimate feelings and thoughts, methods of learned (and an offer to re-learn) communication that leads to a more satisfying sex life, raising sons to be free from the extraneous prejudice of manhood, how men cope with the inevitable 'curse' of aging, and how to nurture men who are growing out of the confines of 'inherited' macho delusions.
Blazina takes major steps forward from the usual prejudices and impressions and instead concentrates on offering ways in which both men and women, children and adults, can better understand the male mind. This all may sound a bit like a rerun of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', but the good Dr. Blazina is far better an instructor and has more in depth of knowledge that is focused on dealing with understanding and resolution rather than mere labeling. He simply writes very well, and he obviously cares about sharing his experience in his chosen field with an audience very much in need of his insights. Grady Harp, 
Amazon.com TOP TEN REVIEWER
 
  …A thorough explanation of the man code. I've missed out on the man code, since I a) am a woman and b) have no brothers.  I have observed that men seem to feel emoting makes them somewhat less of a man, but I had no idea it was so deeply ingrained in their psyches. Blazina writes for an audience of women who are spouses, mothers or sisters to men, so the book is geared toward explaining why those men might be so, well, dense, and how to help the men in their lives feel more comfortable about opening up.
 Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews -

I just couldn’t pass up a book with this title!  And I think this book would be very helpful to so many people — men and women.  The writer is first and foremost a teacher — and this comes through clearly.  His research is well-organized, his findings well-written, and he provides a helpful review of the main points at the end of each chapter…Book Club Classics -

Inside the Cover

     Other Books:



The Cultural Myth of Masculinity
by Dr. Chris Blazina